Posts tagged ‘stories’

May 8, 2011

Welcome to My Blog

Like every good self-involved writer, I feel the need to step back for a moment and write about what I’m going to write about. Just to make sure I pound the obvious deeply into the dirt. But more importantly, I want you to know just how important you, the reader, are to me.

The writing I’ll be sharing with you will fall into roughly three categories: stuff about me, posts about creative people or events that inspire and delight me, and political or social stuff that I think has some kind of significance or value beyond the boundaries of my self. Sometimes the thing I write may fall into more than one category, and I’ll have to double categorize it. I may sweat this process longer than necessary, so bear with me.

This post, however, falls squarely into the personal category. I want you to understand a bit more about me and why you matter so much.

I am at my best when I’m writing letters. I’ve always enjoyed the freedom of boundariless sharing with friends, freedom to flit from one topic to another and cement my relationship in whatever random ways feel good at the moment. I might throw in some keen observations, progress updates, self-deprecating jokes, sardonic comments or heartfelt confessions. When you receive a letter from me, you will definitely recognize that you have been included in something very personal. I put a lot into my letters, and often feel like I need a nap after I’ve completed one.

This will not be a letter. I do not know you well enough yet.

However, I am prone to sharing, and I do need to reveal a certain amount of my psyche in order to feel that something genuine has happened here, so there will be a few takeaways.

A few basic facts. First of all, I am a solo parent of an eight year old boy named Josiah. He is perhaps my biggest inspiration, as well as my biggest responsibility and concern. More often than not, he delights and entertains me beyond belief, and you can expect me to share a lot of stories about him.

Secondly, I am a widow. I lost my husband Ivor in October of 2009, to a terrible disease (one of the suckiest I know of) called sickle cell anemia. Ivor and I were together for just about 22 years, and during that time I experienced more than my share of stresses related to living with a chronically and progressively ill partner, including dealing with hospitals, medication, financial pressure, and a decreasing ability to live life in a lighthearted, spontaneous manner, not to mention the psychic pressure of impending death. However, I also experienced a profound understanding of what is important in life, how to not sweat the little things while valuing the precious gifts of love and family and friendship and small pleasures like cooking and eating yummy food, planting flowers, watching a great movie, having a good stretch in the morning…

The paradoxes inherent in this huge portion of my life have provided me with enough material to write about for quite some time. I have experienced so much, and I am interested in so many things, plus, I know SO MANY amazing people, and I want to tell you about ALL OF IT. In some ways, it feels beyond my control. This stuff is pouring out of me right now, and I’m just going with it, delivering it as fast as I can.

But here’s the thing. I really need to know you’re out there. It’s hard for me to get invested if I think I’m talking to myself. It’s a blog, not a diary. I do know the difference. And like an actor who thrives on the immediacy of performing for a live audience in the theater, I need to know that someone’s actually receiving the energy I’m putting into these words.

So subscribe to my blog. Tell your friends about it. I promise, there will be a great variety of topics and ideas covered here. Comment on my posts! I’ll respond…

If you get bored, you can always move on to the next thing. But I’m betting you won’t.

Photo courtesy of Hamed Saber

April 29, 2011

Boundaries and Blogging and Me, Oh MY!

Now I’ve gone and done it. I’ve launched this blog. Oh how I’ve fretted over this. Should I do it? Should I not? I once swore I’d never blog, because, well it’s just such a cliché, I thought. Everyone’s BLOGGING now, just like everyone used to go rollerblading, or channel surfing, or shoplifting – WHATEVER. I didn’t want to go public as just another ego driven “artiste,” turning myself inside out for whatever crumbs of approval would be strewn my way, while in reality, most readers would be begging, Please, go get therapy, and put us out of our misery. I did not want to be THAT girl.

Well, despite the kindhearted souls who have been generous enough to ask for my ID over the last couple of years (much appreciated), the fact is, I am now 50 and can no longer get away with being any kind of girl. I believe I have undeniably earned my place among women, and it’s a bit beneath my newfound status to indulge in the sort of teenaged, angst fueled yearning that has been behind so much of my writing thus far…

Here’s the thing. This medium of blogging… it really has the feel of, well, a diary. An extraordinarily public diary, true, but providing the same experience as scrawling in my 99 cent spiral notebook that I keep tucked in my bedside night table. Again, fulfilling that need to really be HONEST and just speak from the heart. So yes, you can expect me to share all kinds of dirt… on myself of course. Juicy, confessional type stuff. Borderline embarrassing, train wreck type stuff. I promise. To me, boundaries are like dares…

So then the idea is, what is going to be the THEME of my blog? I’m not trying to sell anything. Not yet, anyway… And I’m not getting paid to do this, so I have no one else’s agenda to adhere to, no editorial guidelines to follow. It’s really all about me. (Note: here’s an important clue as to why blogging is so popular – it’s a narcissist’s wet dream…) I thought about framing it in a particular aspect of my experience, or my identity, if you will, for example, my widowhood, or my motherhood, or my neighborhood (past or present) or even my creative and production experience (see linkedin profile for more detailed professional disclosure). But the fact is, none of these categories totally define me, and besides, I need to be free to ramble about old drug stories or sexual exploits.

Along the way, I promise to share interesting and important news about projects I’m involved with, organizations I support, and any other significant campaigns, events, bits of news or cultural offerings that I think are worth repeating. You can expect a mix of heavy and light, serious and frivolous. I won’t bore you with anything that already bores me. And if you’re good, I may even reward you with juicy stories or even erotic poems. (Note: because I’m finally a grown-up, I’m allowed to talk dirty and call it erotic. It’s true.)

And, full disclosure… if enough of you start reading this, I will be able to start charging for ad space and make lots of money off this damn thing… I mean, er, if you really do come to love me (fingers crossed), then maybe I’ll be able to influence the way you think about things that I think are really important. But either way, it’s all gonna be about me, or rather six degrees of me…

I’m so glad you’re here. Hope you stick around for the next installment…



Photo by blueblitz